Phoenix Wright and the kink meme
by Windpower
Summary: What would happen if Phoenix found fanfiction/the kink meme about himself at the internet, written years before it actually happened? Not written for the kink meme, but I had to this. Implied PxE. Might become PxE later on - discontinued


Disclaimer: I don't own Phoenix Wright

Author's notes: For reading the stories mentioned please go here: teagueful./11393.html?page1#comments

Phoenix Wright owned an old computer.

It wasn't anything special, and if "exclusive" people like Edgeworth had seen it he would probably insist that it belonged with the antiques.

Phoenix rarely used his computer.

It was old, took a million years to start and a lot of times it shut down without any warning. He preferred to do his paperwork by hand.

Maya Fey on the other hand loved Phoenix' computer.

Since Kurain village was without any computers and internet connection she used a lot of time on it.

And it was at her fifth laugh outburst that day that made Phoenix look up.

"Maya, what're you doing?" he asked a little curios.

"Nothing!" Maya's answer was quick and sharp. Phoenix got the sensation of that she was hiding something.

He looked down again and tried to concentrate on his work, but he couldn't help his mind wandering.

How long had she been on that computer anyway? She'd been sitting there when he entered the office at 10 a.m. and now it was past 2. He was quite sure that she'd

been sitting there for a while when he entered too, because an empty bottle of soda and almost a whole hamburger laid beside her then. Maya never ate less than 3

burgers at once.

The last burger was gone now, but Phoenix couldn't help wrinkle his nose at the thought: Burgers for breakfast.

Another laughter from Maya and Phoenix grew even more curious.

"Seriously Maya, what're you doing?"

"Reading."

Phoenix was a little taken back. Maya rarely answered so shortly. Either was the thing she was reading so exciting that she didn't have time for answering or she was

hiding something.

"What are you reading," he asked innocently.

"Just something," Maya had even started to sound angry. "Don't interrupt me Nick."

"May I remind you that it's my computer and I have a right to know what you're doing? If you're doing something illegal it's my responsibility," Phoenix looked at her with

strict eyes.

Maya sighed, understanding that she'd been defeated. "There's nothing illegal about it Nick. I'm just reading a kink meme about you. Or at least a person named the

same as you. Well, I suspect that it is about you since both me, Pearly, Mr. Edgeworth, detective Gumshoe and my sis is mentioned in it as well."

Phoenix looked bewildered at her. "About us?" he asked stupidly.

"Yeah," Maya exclaimed. "It's actually pretty fun!"

Phoenix was just as confused as before and couldn't think of anything to say except…

"What's a kink meme?"

"Oh, Nick!" Maya groaned. "You know so little."

Phoenix looked harshly at her, and Maya giggled.

"Just pulling your leg. Anyway a kink meme is a place where people requests what they want other people to write about. And since it's a kink meme it has to be a "kink".

So it gets really stupid sometimes."

Phoenix still was confused. Who would write a "kink meme" about him and his friends? He wasn't so famous after all.

"Is there any details about people's relationship with each other?" He asked.

One time before Maya came across something called a "fan fiction" or something. It had been about a man named the same as himself and a girl named Maya. For a while

they had thought it was about them, but when they figured out that the "Phoenix" and the "Maya" was together, they decided that it wasn't about them after all.

"Umm… Well," Maya started. "A lot of these stories are about our relationship with each other. And it's really accurate too."

Phoenix became worried. No one knew about with his relationship with the Feys, except for the people he knew.

"Maya, you didn't write it did you?"

"Are you crazy?!" was the indignant answer from behind the computer. "There's way too much here for just me to write. It's over 25 pages and this is just one of the kink

memes!"

"That much?" Phoenix was awestruck.

Maya didn't answer, just continued her giggling.

"May I read one?" If Phoenix was going to sue the persons for invading his personal life he ought at least to know what it was all about.

"Sure," Maya nodded encouraging. "You can read this one I laughed so hard about. It's called "How the Gant stole Christmas"!"

"Excuse me?"

"Just come up here and read," Maya grumbled impatiently.

Phoenix read. He admitted that it was quite fun with the rhymes but he still thought it was a little creepy that people knew so much about him.

"I have just one question, "he said after finishing reading. "The line "Phoenix and Edgeworth had gotten awfully cuddly close"… What the heck is that supposed to

mean?"

Maya tapped her chin. "I was sort of hoping that you wouldn't notice that. Well, Nick… You see… You and Mr. Edgeworth is like that big, hot-shot lawyer couple on the

internet."

"What?" Phoenix exclaimed.

"Oh, come on Nick! It's cute. Like how you and Mr. Edgeworth were childhood friends and you became a lawyer for his sake and how you said during his murder trial that

you were the only one who understood him." Maya smiled.

But Phoenix had become awfully still, and it was not because of the things he had said could be misinterpreted the wrong way. It was because...

"I hope you were the one who came up with that," he said, his voice a little shaky.

"Huh?" Maya looked confused at him.

"You came up with that right now, right? You didn't like… Read it in that… Kink meme or something?"

"Umm…" Maya pondered slightly. "Well… I've always though of you and Mr. Edgeworth as cute together, but exactly that… I read it in this kink meme."

Phoenix exhaled a quick breath.

"How is that possible?" he said frightened. "No one, except you, me, Edgeworth, Larry and probably Mia knew that I and Edgeworth were childhood friends!"

Maya grew suddenly pale. But then she giggled. "Oh come on Nick!" It's been in the papers that you and Mr. Edgeworth knew each other. You have to stop worrying so

much!" She patted his back.

Phoenix couldn't shake the feeling of that something were wrong though.

"Oh!" Maya looked at Phoenix with shining eyes. "Since this people know so much about us, and the fact that Gant actually tried to steal our Christmas tree last year.

Perhaps everything else on this site is true too!"

Maya shifted position on her chair so she was facing towards him.

"Nick, please tell me. You didn't have sex with Mr. Edgeworth in a glass elevator when it stopped at the 37th floor, did you?"

"What!?" Phoenix was even more shocked. He blushed crimson. "How can you even think of such a thing?"

"Someone wrote about it here," Maya gestured towards the computer. "Answer me, Nick. It's the best way to find out if this page tells the truth." Maya smiled a little evil

smile at him.

"Seriously, Maya. Edgeworth and I… W-we aren't together like that a-and… You know Edgeworth so well that you know that he would never, ever have sex with me.

Least of all in a glass elevator at 37th floor. Why would he take the elevator anyway? He's scared of them!" Phoenix could feel himself stuttering. Not good. Maya was on

to him.

"Niiiiick," she said, grinning widely. "Why are you blushing so much?"

Phoenix looked angry at her and was about to open his mouth and say something, when Maya screamed.

"Did you hear what you just said? You and Edgeworth aren't "together like that." Well then." She had a smug smile on her face. "In what way are you together?"

Phoenix decided that it was best to not answer. "May I see that page some more?"

Maya quickly jumped out of the chair. It was best not to push her luck too much. She'd already been over 5 hours at the computer. As Phoenix often reminded her: He

was the one who paid for the electricity. Maya went over to Phoenix' working chair and sat down. She pretended for a while to be reading the case files, but figured out

after a while that it was much more fun watching Nick read: Most of the time he sat with his hand at his cheek, with a smile on his lips, but suddenly he would blush again

and shift uncomfortably on his chair. Sometimes he would grin so wide too, that Maya thought that one of the commercials that said that you've just won a million dollar

popped up and Phoenix believed it to be true. Sometimes his face would shine with pure disgust. After a while Phoenix looked up.

"Well, I guess I've figured out that this page is extraordinary creepy. But still it can't be true. If it's true then I'm obviously practicing polygamy."

Maya looked at him.

"Well," Phoenix explained. "If this page is the truth then I have sexual relations with you, your sister, Edgeworth, Gumshoe, Godot, Shelly the Killer, Adrian Andrews, Will

Powers, Gourdy, Franziska, Manfred von Karma, Gant… Oh and I forgot… Edgeworth's dog."

Maya wrinkled her nose. "Eww."

"The things that I find so creepy about this page is that still of facts. Things that have happened that almost no one know about. But the thing that's the creepiest thing

ever… Is the date these things were written. Come over here, Maya."

Maya walked quickly over to him and bent down over the computer. The dates the entries were posted were from fall 2007 to somewhere out in 2008.

She felt a sting in her stomach. This couldn't be happening.

"W-well then, Nick," she managed to stutter out. "Then this page is obviously about someone else, who's called the same as us and looks the same and…"

"Not a chance," Phoenix said. "Some of my cases here are mentioned. In detail. There's no way this is about someone else."

"But Nick!" Maya winced and clung to him, looking scared at the computer. "Do you think you've been set up? That someone planned all your cases long before… Like 15

years before and wrote about it?"

Phoenix didn't know. At least he had an idea.

"I'm going to mail this page to all our friends and see what they think," Phoenix said to Maya and removed her from his neck.


End file.
